Something for the Weakened

The Young Man’s Post

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009 by

Sounds oddly like the title to a Viz annual doesn’t it. Hmm, anyhoo, it being my birthday tomorrow I thought I’d record for posterity the two moments that caused me to spiral into depression about how old I am this year.

1. Discovering that the murderous members of the Manson Family were a good decade younger than me when they commited their atrocities. This piece of information oddly sent me into a light haze of misery, pondering how much they had done at such an early age, compared to the amorphous, uneventful blob that is my own existence. Thankfully any murderous thoughts were quelled by the information that I’m still a year younger than Charlie was when he was imprisoned, so its not all bad.

2. A girl who normally only works Saturdays has started working during the week too. Upon seeing her for the first time I thought to myself ‘She’s quite cute, though I bet she’s half my age,’ as I often do when seeing attractive youth, in an attempt to bleakly amuse myself. Later on that day, she was brought up in conversation and it was mentioned that she’s probably only actually sixteen. It slowly dawned on me that by midnight tonight I will actually be twice age. I’m hoping that this is the first time this has happened and that I haven’t been letching at under age tweens. God. I really hope I haven’t.

At least next year I’m likely to be heartened by thoughts that I’ll have out lived Christ. Now does anyone want to join my cult?

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