Something for the Weakened

Stalky Tory

Thursday, February 16th, 2006 by

I’ve a sneaking suspicion that I’m being stalked by a tory MP. Not a Waldgrave or a Cam’ron – not one of the biguns or anything. This guy looks more like some mystery back bencher with enough time on his hands to spend it following me around all the time. I can’t say for certain that he is a Tory MP, I’ve yet to feel menaced enough to actually confront him about his stalking habits. But he looks the type. You know, pinstripe suit, a certain age, swift hair, a whiff of cordite, the walk of a man wearing suspenders. We’ve all seen clips from party conferences. Yet despite his apparent position of power I’ve spotted the man at least once on a nearly basis for the past month or more! I of course realise that I’m irresistable to man, women, beast, vegetable or mineral, but even I have to draw the line somewhere. Then again I shouldn’t really complain. It’s nice to get the attention. If he works up the courage to speak to me I’ll be sure to let you all know . . .

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