Something for the Weakened

Archive for April, 2012

Phony

April 16th, 2012 by Alastair

When wandering around near work, my eyes are often cast toward the ground – a mixture of mild ennui and no desire to make eye contact with anyone nearby. If it wasn’t for these downcast orbs, I wouldn’t have noticed the peculiar phenomena that seemed to start about six months ago.

I think it was about that far back when I noticed the first one. Looking down in the gutter, my eye was caught by an unexpected splash of colour. A vibrant pink something. I paused and examined closer. It was one of those furry coverings one puts over the ear pieces of earphones. Unusual to find one in that hue, I thought (or something like it, the exact phrase eludes me and probably included more expletives), but having lost so many headphone accessories in my life, thought no more of it.

Until a few days later.

When I saw it again.

Or did I? Because this time it had brought a friend. If I’m perfectly honest, I forget the exact course of events, but over these past few months, the number of these tiny bits of pink fluff in the area around (and, on a couple of occasions, inside) my place of work has continually increased. Where are they coming from? Did someone drop a big box of them months ago and they’re slowly coallescing in one place, through the tidal winds like that slick of rubber ducks somewhere in the Pacific? Is someone dropping them deliberately, one or two per month, waiting to see if anyone will ever notice? Are they actually some kind of Bodysnatcheresque new lifeform, come to burrow into the ears of all mankind? Are they what postman wrap their little red rubber bands around?

Perhaps I’ll never know. I did pick one up that I found in work and put it through the washing machine. Like I say, I’m always losing bits of headphones. Funny thing is, I can’t seem to find it now. And my ear feels sort of weird. I just left it on the bed when I went tohuil.cfkw.fvhdujk cb m klm dv

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Fine. Everything fine now. Ear feel better. Happy now.

Haaaapppppyyyyy.