Something for the Weakened

Archive for 2008

An (belated) Xmas Gift

December 29th, 2008 by

Evening all. Spent much of the past week without site access and the rest of it recovering from the traditional festive bout of lurgy. Will try and formulate something more interesting as a post when I’ve stopped emptying quite as much phlegm as I am at the moment. In the interim, see what you make of this –

Seems to have been filmed during the making of Men Opening Umbrellas Ahead and is intriguing as a document of the time if nothing else, though the sound’s a bit wonky. Do watch through to part three though, where I think you can catch a brief glimpse of ‘Legs@ Larry in a train compartment.


Slug It Up

December 20th, 2008 by

Just looked down at my pile of unwashed clothes, only to notice a silvery trail over the jumper I wore on Thursday. For a second I wondered if the nocturnal emissions had started up again, but it appears that I have somehow garnered a slug in my room somewhere. As far as I can tell, the room’s sealed from the outside world, with the possible exception of the area behind the fusebox in the corner – I’ve never been bothered to check thoroughly, but there doesn’t appear to be a draft so there can’t be much of a gap, if any. There’s no obvious trail from the door, though the carpet’s a relatively thick shag, so might have done some absorbing of any sluggy deposits. Which leads me to presume that the homeless snail is lurking in the room somewhere, biding it’s bastard time, waiting to attack me while I slumber. What evils can a slug wreack? I shall let you know. Until then, I must live in fear, keeping my peripheral vision primed for a quisling’s eye on a stalk poking out at me.

Christmas Hint

December 16th, 2008 by

Anyone in need of a last minute present couldn’t do much better than this. Who wouldn’t want it?


December 16th, 2008 by

Been losing a fair amount of sleep over the past couple of nights. I’ve been woken up by particularly annoying dreams. Not nightmares, no, I’m still yet to experience one of those (implying either that I’m remarkably at ease with the world and incapable of fear, or some unmamifested sociopathic tendencies – I know where my money is). No, these have just been really annoying and seem to have forced me to wake myself up to stop my irritation with the other characters my subconscious is creating. Two nights running I’ve found myself being berated by some minor authority figure, with ideas above their station (yesterday it was some sort of postman, I forget what this morning’s was doing), bleating on until I can take it no more and force myself out of my slumber before six in the morning. It’s really quite annoying and has left me tired and grumpy to the extent at which I’ve started berating people aroun . . . Ahh. That’s probably not good is it? No sleep for me then.

A Worry

December 12th, 2008 by

Had a poo the other day.

As you do.

During post defecation inspection I noticed that it had an unusual black and green hue.

It rather resembled the excretia you find near geese.

I wonder if I am changing into a goose.

It is a worry you know.

The C

December 6th, 2008 by

Was going to write something far more interesting, but posted these by mistake. Too tired to really do it justice now. So shan’t. Bah.

The B

December 6th, 2008 by


The A

December 6th, 2008 by

Novel Day Thirty

November 30th, 2008 by

Last day for submission. Woke up in Muswell Hill after five hours kip and with a belly still full of Guiness. Still feel a bit rough now, but have now written fifty thousand and fifteen words (or a hundred or so more according to my official NaNoWriMo count up)! The daily writing is at an end and at the moment I feel extremely glad about that. Is the book in any fit state to be read by anyone yet? Not quite. I shall farm it around a couple of close chums who can point the blinding inaccuracies and how the whole things actually really dull, then, after a little light editing, I’ll be more than happy to send out copies to anyone who asks for one. As for what I wrote today, through my hangovery fug, I’m quite happy with the penultimate scene, though it does end more abruptly than I would have liked. Final scene is extremely short and sort of works, but might need to be both longer and not the enormous jarring inaccuracy in the timelines going on in it. Should be able to work that out. I think that there are three or four other scenes that I need to insert earlier in the book, as there’s one character who just drops out of the storyline never to be seen again and I quite liked her. She was feisty. Actually, all my female characters seem to be fairly feisty and have appaling potty mouths, while most of the menfolk are hopeless incompetents. I have essentially written an episode of Last of the Summer Wine. My life is complete.

Before I go I’d just like to thank everyone who has sent any encouraging emails. I would by name, but none of you ever sign the bloody things, so half of them are entirely anonymous. But seriously, thank you. There wereseveral occasions I was seriously considering jacking the whole thing in and the notes of support really did help me to see the light at the end of whatever murky tunnel I was dwelling in. Thnk you very much.

Don’t know what I’m going to write about tomorrow. Might have to go and get that scanner and start on a new Page of Fun…

Novel Day Twenty Nine

November 29th, 2008 by

Forty eight thousand three hundred. Two scenes to go. Must now go to London and hopefully return in time to finish up tomorrow. Fingers amongst other things are being crossed…