Something for the Weakened

Archive for November, 2007

New Game

November 30th, 2007 by

Today I’ve been playing Grazi.

It’s like Yahtzee, only more thankful.

I am Graham Garden and I collect my five pounds.

Tummy Bug(rr)

November 30th, 2007 by

I appeared to have strained (or is the technical term pulled?) a muscle in my stomach. Only lightly thankfully, but lunging now causes me some moderate discomfort, which is playing merry havoc with my nights. I have no idea how it occurred though. It arose with me on Wednesday morning, implying that it went awry overnight for it was fine Tuesday night. I know that I have a tendency to thrash about a bit while trying to kip, but I can’t imagine my doing anything strenuous enough to twang a muscle while actually unconcious. The night prior was sober, so no falls or plummets could have been responsible. I did consume a large chicken karai, which could have had some bearing on it. Not the curry itself, but the rice. I think I may have under cooked it slightly, so now have the worry that the rice has now expanded further in my stomach and ruptured it’s very lining with it’s paddy fueled fury. Perhaps I just carried something to heavy at work. Meh, it’s getting better anyway so I’ll stop whingeing and wait for the internal bleeding to start. Sleep well.

True Story

November 25th, 2007 by

So I was getting out of this cab on Friday night an’ the door, yeah, the door swings out o’ my hand. Really loose hinges, cab in the gutter on a slope, my butterfingers, that sort of thing. And there’s this cock in a balaclava walking past, pissed up ‘n’ that, and he starts mouthing off, saying I could have smashed his ankle an’ shit. And I’m all like “Sorry mate,” nut he ain’t having it. Leans into the cab, gives me a slap. Knocks me spec’s flying. I’m all like “Hey!”, so’s the lass in the cab with me. I picks up me glasses, look back up ‘n’ the cunt’s already buggering off down the street.

I think I must just have an eminently hittable face.