Something for the Weakened

Archive for May, 2004

Nude Christina Aguillera Nude Nude

May 29th, 2004 by

Well, that should increase the traffic from casual Googlers! Do I really want those sorts cluttering up my bandwidth? Hey, why not, porn hounds are peoples too. Can’t get ideas about baby rucksacks out of my head now – just hollow out the baby, sew the hands and feet together and put a zip round the neck. Why not leave the eyes in to deter stalkers? I need more hobbies. My hangover has finally abated, while my feet are in pain following 2 hours of solid magazine distribution. Also plagued by the traditional post drunk feeling that I did something monumentally bad last night. Hope not. Album of the day is likely to be The Electric Avenue Tapes by Tied + Tickled Trio. Haven’t listened to it yet, but I’ve got high hopes. Look, I’ve invented a feature! Come back tomorrow to see if I can be arsed to continue it.

…And Now

May 27th, 2004 by

Hey you crazy kids! Look, it isn’t even 11.00 and I’m trying to write this up! ‘Something must be wrong’ you think, but nay, I’m just abnormally cheerful. Dog seems better and I’ve achieved some marvellous things with boxes today. You should see them in all their cardboardy glory. All seems well with the world. I might even get some artwork finished for the front page before the night is out, but don’t hold your breath. Meanwhile, I can’t shake this idea that I had a few days ago. It’s about what looks to be a baby in a papoose (is that the word? One of those baby rucksacks) turning out to be the wearer’s underdeveloped, parasitic siamese twin. I’d like to think I thought of it, but I’m sure I read it somewhere. No, not ‘How To Get Ahead In Advertising’. Hmmm, one to muse upon. Right, I’ve managed to bang this out much quicker than the last two, and I’m still fairly certain I’m yet to say anything of any import. Maybe that’s the point. Looks like I’ll be missing tomorrows column, as I’m out on the lash again, so I’ll speak to you Saturday. Hello? Anyone…

Glum Missive

May 26th, 2004 by

Three days in and I’ve already missed one. Not a great start, but it’s not my fault. Really! Between dealing with a poorly hound, my Nan sleeping in the room with this computer in it and my having to out and get wasted last night, it’s not surprising that I dropped a day. Plus I can’t go online during daylight hours. Dog is a cause for concern at the moment – for those of you that are interested, I’m looking after him while my parents are on holiday and am worried he might not last the week and a half until they’re back. A tumor, you see. Won’t know if it’s malignant or not for a week. Still, managing to keep my dander up in various ways. Can’t let these things drag you down. Stiff upper lip. Etcetera. Trying to motivate myself to get some creative work done, but am finding it tricky. Worry about the dog I think. Haven’t even been eating properly today. Rambling. Must stop. Try to be up beat tomorrow. Type proper sentences. Ta ta.

ATTENTION SCUM!

May 24th, 2004 by

… is this on? Shit. Okay, let’s do this. Greetings one and all, and welcome to this half arsed attempt at a blog (or is that ‘blog?). I’m hoping to try and stick something down here on daily basis, essentially stealing the idea from Richard Herring and James Kochalaka. Other people too I imagine, but I don’t know who. Three sentences in and the waffle has begun already. Fantastic! So, if all goes well this’ll develop into a daily account of my tedious life in unpleasantly minute detail. More likely I won’t write another word for a couple of months, but you never know. I’ve got half an hour to finish this and still make it come up on the Monday, (I always planned to start this at the beginning of the week, don’t know why) so I’ll try and write something remotely interesting tomorrow. Just it a quick thanks to the almighty Uber-Rob for powering this whole thing up and trying to make me remotely creative. It might just work. Maybe it’ll even stop me stealing material from Simon Munnery. Probably not though. Pip pip.

Blog, online

May 10th, 2004 by

Are you ready?